Monday, November 7, 2011

The good, the bad, the ugly, and the humble.

I hosted a friend from out of town last week and I feel like I've been away from the internet for ages. I suppose that's a good thing, particularly the fact that I felt up to the task of socializing in person, not just online. But now I'm scrambling to get everything done that I need to get done this week, including a video editing job and helping out with a blog for an art installation project on campus. But these things all fall squarely into the camp of "good."

I think my success at balancing all this activity and not collapsing into a puddle of pain and fatigue is a sign that the MTX is doing what it's supposed to do, though I'm not in love with the side-effects. If I continue to feel better, I suppose I'm just going to have to deal with the mouth sores, hair loss, and brainfog, all of which are relatively mild, but enough to make me cranky for all (or at least part) of the week. Current mantra: It could be much worse. Because I remember when it was.

Besides my weekly slog through MTX side effects, the bad/ugly column also has a hash mark for Friday morning when I absentmindedly backed my car out of my garage too far to the left and knocked off the driver side view mirror. It's a rather expensive mistake (it will be about $250 for parts and labor), and not one I am particularly proud of seeing as I was stewing about a work-related email at the time. Poor little car. Ironically, my guest post over on Chronic Babe on the topic of mindfulness meditation just went up today. If I'm meant to learn something from my life right now, clearly that something is humility!

2 comments:

  1. Ahh Megan, welcome back to the net! Poor car (poor wallet) when you damage something yourself like that is very annoying, I have done things like that too (worse one time when I turned out of a parking spot without seeing a large concrete bollard and totally crunched a door!)

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  2. Thumbs up to the mindfulness, but major thumbs and toes down to the methotrexate ... Not going to tell you it gets better Megan, nor could I ever say things could be worse than mtx. Let me put it like this... Life without mtx is sweeter than I could have imagined and I imagined a lot of sweet things through the nine years I was on it. I kinda fought like a tiger to get off it and stay off it :)
    What I'm trying to say is, if you have another option, go for it. If there is another drug you can trial (we hate that I know, but still), nothing about mtx is fair on your system. If you have rheumatoid then I understand it can help the arthritis, but if not, opt out. I love that you quote Flannery ... Have you read her collected autobiographical writings? They are called 'The Habit of Being' and boy does she snark about lupus ;)

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